We’ll start here; the drugs have kicked in.

(Apparently, I’ve been depressed for a while. I was raised to be tough, and not expect help. So I thought I was alright. Then summer came, with all the light, and I’ve been getting help, and there were days when I was actually happy – and believe me, it was a surprise to realize there was a state other than “default.” I realized I was tired of being tired. I also yelled and kicked and screamed about how I’d done good on an old drug long ago until “they” gave up and gave it to me. And it’s in a pill, and I can take it at half-strength. So, now I get up in the morning, and it’s okay. I’m not tired. Maybe not impressed with where I am, but not bone-tired. So, yeah, to sound like all those annoying people that you read about, keep trying. Something will work.)

The drugs have kicked in, and I am not so hostile towards Bigfoot – just ambivalent – and I can give him credit. He’s the one who wore holes in his hands digging up the hard-packed fill around the house so I could plant my little seeds. The dirt is still crap, but it’s good enough to do this.


I’m so proud.