I left the state, and you elected Jesse “The Body” Ventura governor. Now I grew up in Minnesota, and I recognize the long tradition of wrestling in the state. Was it Anoka that my brother dubbed “a hotbed of Greco-Roman wrestling?” One of those northern tier suburbs. And my grandmother watching Saturday Night Wrestling on Channel 11, because it reminded her of the old days, with get-togethers in barns with dancing and the neighborhood young toughs holding wrestling matches. I admit it; I watched wrestling with Unca Bri, and then with my ex. I am familiar with names like Andre (but who isn’t?), and the Gagne family – was it Vern and his son Greg? And who had the claw? Remember that? That crazy old coot coming out and threatening people with his hand, clasped at the wrist by his other hand as if there was no holding it back by force of will alone. Shoot, I even went to a WWF wrestling match. It was wonderful, those huge guys like dancing bears.

But you elected Jesse “The Body” Ventura governor.

And Norm Coleman, he of the challenges. And some real dickhead voting.

And Michele Bachmann. (Look. Another Anoka link. Hmm.)

Now, I don’t watch tv, and I don’t get papers, so I don’t get very many pictures of people, so I just heard about this. Imagine my horror to find that you elected Pawlenty, a man with a mullet, to Governor. I know, he’s cut his hair, but still. A mullet. That sort of thing doesn’t just happen, you know.

If all y’all’s want some sense back in the state, you know what you have to do. Start that collection going.


I know. Too long for a bumper sticker. Plus y’all went and gave all those dirt roads names and numbers and stuff. Too civilized for me, thank you.

But. A mullet? Come on.