See, I haven’t really been gone. It’s just that the posts I’ve made have decided to not publish, even though they said they were going to go out there and do it.

But then again, I have been gone. I spent two days with my head under the covers. I do this a lot now that I’m an independent contractor sort of person. I am upset that I am a wimp, but I also seem to be building up a well of resolve. Or maybe I’m deluding myself.

In the meantime. I applied for FAFSA. Next I have to go online and look for grants, a well that has been polluted by online search sites. “For only $19.95 we’ll search out sites that you will then have to sort through to get any kind of grant money! We just want to be sure to get our share!” Might be worthwhile, might not.

And I have to go fight with Foodshare, and sit on hold for 45 minutes. I’m not good with these virtual situations. I prefer actual contact, even though actual contact with real humans tends to exhaust me. It explains knitting and sewing and cooking, and used to explain photography before that got sucked up into the ethervoid. Still, I pick up my camera and play, out in the real world with real sounds and smells and tactile sensations.

Anyway. I have to go enumerate today, and deal with the changing rules and standards in that game.

Wait! Before I go, book recommendation. “Bird by Bird” from Annie Lamott. And this interview with her at Salon.

Have I mentioned that I’m not exhausted any more, and that I can read books with my eyes open? I’m very happy about that. I thought my brain had died.

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