“That week between Christmas and New Year’s when nothing really gets done and nobody’s in their office” is a little unwieldy.

So, while we sat around watching tv shows on DVDs yesterday the phone rang, somebody calling us up to set up an appointment, they could come here? we could go there? I said we would go there, we don’t get out much. (Can you hear the low rumble of the Drums of Foreshadowing?)

Anyway. The DVD we were watching was the first season of “House” (and yes, he’s very good looking, but I am sick of the set-up and why does everybody get stuck with big needles and why is it always Foreman doing the wielding of big needles?) (And “Wield”- Word of the Day.) So I turned to Daughter and said “Hallelujah! I am cured forever of my hypochondria and will never go to a doctor again!” (The Drums are louder now.)

So I was downstairs in the Fortress of Solitude, going through piles of fabric and washing new fabrics and making a denim skirt out of an old pair of jeans (because I am in college, and parading around in a jeans skirt won’t make me any more outrageous than some of the people there. We’ll talk more later) wearing “hanging in around inside my house with no intention of going anywhere” clothes, and the carbon monoxide detector above the laundry sink goes off.

So, because I am a fairly normal person, I stare stupidly at it for a few seconds. Then I push the reset button, and it shuts off. For a minute. So I open a window and push the reset button, and it shuts off. For a minute. So I go upstairs and tell my daughter what that noise is, and stand around up there staring at her stupidly for a minute.

Then I called the hospital to ask them what to do, and they said to call dispatch, so I called them, and they said to get out, so we stood around stupidly outside for a while (and hey! whatever this weather is, thank you, because it’s been 39 degrees for 48 hours or so), and the first responder guy came and his monitor went off, so then the big truck came, and their monitor went off, then the ambulance came and they said we were fine but maybe we should go to the emergency room and get checked out, and you know? maybe we shouldn’t sleep here tonight.

So we called somebody to hang out till the energy people got here and went to ER and had some oxygen and had our levels checked and everything was fine so we came home and got our stuff and went to stay in a motel, and then came home today and got hold of maintenance who got hold of the energy company and they checked everything out and couldn’t find anything but the furnace people are going to come out and replace some doohickey and clean the furnace up and at least we know the monitor works, and we are safe and warm, and dry the end.

So. In less than ten hours we had to go to many places AND we got to see doctors AND go to the emergency room, which was another thing on my not-to-do list for the holiday season, all in clothes I didn’t want to leave the house in.

So. One of the CO monitors work. I now know the number for non-emergency dispatch. My furnace will be better. And we got to spend over 50 bucks at a local business that I am grateful for. (Motel run by old Indian couple. They had curry for dinner last night. I might go over and ask for cooking lessons.)

And next term? I’m taking freshman english 102. It might be the end of the looping ellipses and the staccato punctuation.

I doubt it.