This is – oh, I give. When Mercury goes retrograde, I am a believer. Which is a good thing, because if all the shit that rained on me this week was just random, I doubt I could leave the house ever again.

No, my brother is not coming to live with me, at least not right now. I don’t know where that came from, but that is the one that put me over the edge, what with him not being able to walk and his doctor being 5 hours away and me being over an hour away from my house thank you where did this idea come from and why am I so stupid as to fall for it every time, this being the THIRD time this has fallen on me in 6 weeks. Anyway. He’s in a nursing home, he can wear clothes, he can take showers, and he’s 20 minutes away from his doctor, and his surgery has been moved up, so he should be mobile by May.

Wow. If maintenance people put their mind to it, and the person with the handicap sticker complains that she can no longer get to her car safely because the sidewalks are all crap and are we really just waiting for somebody to fall AGAIN!!!, the sidewalks can suddenly be cleared. It is like a miracle, except that no it’s really just get off your asses and do your jobs thank you.

And! All of a sudden our magic online workbooks for our French class are telling us which answers are wrong, rather than just saying “oh, four out of ten are wrong and we won’t tell you which one so ha ha ha ha ha.” After I just lost it in class in frustration and walked out. I’m sure the 50 decibel fan is still whirring over the teacher’s desk, however. I might just pull myself out of the class and study with the tutor. I actually want to learn the language, so I don’t care how much the grade gets knocked down because I’m not there. If I show up for tests and do well, I don’t think anybody gets to complain.

I guess I really can’t believe that all these things were just waiting for me to push on them. I hate being shoved back into a corner, like I’ve been feeling for weeks. I hate having to get to the point where there is nothing left except for me to blow stuff up. I wish people would respond much, much sooner. I wish I wasn’t getting this positive feedback for my actions.

I wish I didn’t feel like a total bitch for just standing up for myself. Go go gadget feminism, I guess.

But. The world is a tiny bit better, and I did it. Yeah, whatever.

Advertisements