First off. Weather Underground just irritates the heck out of me. Their predicted high for today was 83°. I saw that at 10:30 this morning, when it was 83°. I imagine they did the “raise the forecast temp every time the actual temp goes up” thing, because now the forecast temp is 89°, just like the weather is. You were wrong! Own it! Apologize!

The bay here in Ashland is red-clay colored, because the rapid snow melt and heavy storms washed a ton of stuff down the Fish Creek Watershed into the bay. Except it isn’t all red clay. A certain amount of it is “agricultural run-off,” i.e. poop, running off of someplace, causing the health people to close the beaches every few days because of e. coli contamination. Health People! Rent a helicopter and fly up the watershed and find out whose farm and announce your suspicions in the paper. Let public opinion take care of enforcement. Anyway, the gist is that I will not swim here, and must drive somewhere to get away from the red crap.

Good news? I have a basement. And air mattresses. I slept down there last night, and Daughter will be joining me tonight. Also, I have rediscovered baby powder. I don’t know what that stuff really does, but I put it on and was functional!

Also; three uses for your Nook when you head to the basement to do some cool reading only to find out the battery is run down. First, use it as a fan. Minimally effective. Second, put its cold, having-been-sitting-on-the-cement-floor self on your stomach. Mmm, cool. And third, while it’s on your stomach, see if it bounces to your pulse. If it does, you can check your resting pulse rate – if you have a watch or a cell phone or something.

I am being stubborn and lazy. I have a crummy air conditioner out in the garage, but it’s hot out there and there’s stuff piled in front of it and I’d have to ask the neighbor to bring it in, and really – this is Northern Wisconsin. It won’t stay this hot that long (ignoring last summer altogether).

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