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Yep. The current resolution is to pay attention when my brain is screaming at me.

I almost bought a house, to the point where I’m probably going to lose my earnest money.  It is a beautiful house, early 1900’s, wood floors throughout, kitchen in blues and reds with a wonderful refrigerator and stove and a window over the kitchen sink and all the walls downstairs in soft white and upstairs in pale greens and this odd little hall that ends in a window, perfect for a statement plant. It is so beautiful!

In the process, involving much testing and asking for extensions on financing and reports and experts, I was walking around all distracted and having trouble sleeping and going slightly crazy, and not noticing what was running through my head – namely, how the heck are you going to pay for all the repairs this absolutely beautiful house needs? To say nothing about how to arrange furniture in a house that’s all chopped up with (beautiful, huge, tall) windows and oddly placed (omg I love them so much) tall radiators.

So I made the decision to back out. IMMEDIATELY! all the noise in my head and all the weird feeling in my chest Stopped. Silence. Sleep.

So I should pay attention, eh?

Screen Shot 2017-10-30 at 3.16.45 PM

Stolen from Facebook. Amazing, no?


Isn’t it great? The mouth is crazy, man! And the deep wells of the eyes.

Except, no. Not even. It’s supposed to be –

David sedaris photo

David Sedaris. I ran across the photo on the Guardian, and when I went back to look at it again, I noticed this –

Two stories, 18 months apart? Maybe not that far apart. Same photo shoot. Also, his nose is crooked.

Moral of the story? Working from anything is hard. Working is hard.

Also, I blew up my SI joint by stepping into the house. Okay, “blew up” is an exaggeration. I was supposed to be finished with therapy next week. More PT for me! Frustrating, is the word I’m using. I got plants in pots before this happened, so that’s good. It just happened after a week of feeling pretty good, is all. Disappointing is another word.

And in other disappointments, Daughter brought home commercial cake donuts with chocolate frosting and what looked like caramel stripes! but the stripes were actually butterscotch. Sigh. The world is a bed of torment.

In the meantime, I’ll have to settle for blue skies and trees that actually have leaves on them, and potted plants that are growing quickly. And since I can’t do very much, I’ll have another go at Sedaris’s face. Maybe.


I used to be a really good cook. Sigh.

I made polenta today, because even I can still make polenta and throw an egg on top of it, right? However, one part cornmeal to four parts water does not equal 1/4 cup cornmeal and two cups of water. And there was the failed chicken curry. A long series of meals that I forgot one crucial ingredient. and the quiche where I forgot BOTH the white pepper and the nutmeg, AND set the timer but didn’t start it. And the thing where I set fire to the cutting board. Sigh.

Fortunately, throwing another 1/4 cup of cornmeal in twenty minutes into the process still yields a good product – perhaps better, because the original cornmeal had become fully hydrated – yes, I looked up how to cook polenta on one of those food sites – and so the resulting mass was smooth and creamy with a bit of crunchiness. Put a soft-cooked egg and some cottage cheese on top, and gobble it down. I’ve given up on the original spinach and garlic and maybe curry that is supposed to go on this, because I was failing at spinach and possibly onion too. That’s right. I have been failing at onion. It’s just depressing. I can still bake a frozen pizza with the best, so all is not lost.

In better news, we went down to Minneapolis Institute of Arts to see the Guillermo del Toro exhibit which was AWESOME! The paintings and drawings were fantastic, the video compilations on various themes were intriguing, the detail in some of the props was amazing! The gauntlet that Rasputin wore when he tried to open the gate was on display, with all the tubes and wiring. We weren’t allowed to touch it, unfortunately. Not enough Hellboy, no Samaiel, no Abe. A brilliant homage to Edgar Allen Poe, with rain-lashed windows.

While we were waiting, we cruised through the Asian exhibits which were AWESOME! also, All I could think was how much time and effort went into the pieces, weavings, sculpture, pottery. I feel like a hack. After we got through the del Toro exhibit, we wandered around looking at paintings. Van Gogh, O’Keeffe, Gauguin, Renoir, Degas. Too much for the short amount of time we had. Daughter got bored – “they were just paintings.” We were all tired, and my companions basically dragged me away. Fortunately, Daughter is cool with me going down by myself to spend more time. You better believe I will.

In other strange and unrelated news, I seem to have an allergic reaction to jelly beans.





You can click on them to make bigger, I found. I think the surface is about half-done. This is more interesting than, “I had a nice day,” anyway.

I’ve been thinking lately – or feeling, I guess; happy.

Daughter unloaded the dishwasher yesterday, without a reminder. My baby is growing up!

And we have conversations; about which version of MacBeth to watch, and why is it that “Richard III” with Ian McKellan goes for $25 used?!? And all the critical theory, and discussions of actors’ interpretations. And “let’s try this.”

It’s different than it used to be. But then again, so am I. And so is Daughter.


Tree, yesterday morning, before work.

I found this poster on Facebook;


And I realized it could all be expressed in formulas.

People (hurt) = Hurt people

Anger is a negative. But if the next factor is a positive (smile), you get a positive effect.

“Forgive and forget about finding fault” just means multiply that negative stuff by nothing. Anything times zero is zero. Poof! It’s gone.

And just like algebra, this shit is hard. But you need it to graduate/get on with your life.

And so ends your homily for the day.

Daughter spends a lot of time on video games (n.b. is that even what they’re called now?), which irritates me. But it also means she’s spending time listening to and learning from critical analysis, which Is. So. Cool. to an art historian. It also means we have discussions revolving around which character in the Elder Scrolls represents which god in classical mythology, which led to a brief discussion about Nature and the Wilderness as a representation of supreme beings of different types. Which is good, because – oh, there’s a list of reasons. Neither of us is letting our brains rot. We are equal in our geek fandomness of Big Things and Ideas. And we can spend quality time together in so many different ways.

The summer was cool, which is good because I hate being hot. It was bad because the few hot days we had (I think it was three) were too hot to get in the car and go where we could go swimming. We’ve had what seems like an early cold snap, which means that it’s time the garden closes down, which is sad, but it also means a return to hot bath season, which is Thank You Universe. Hot Bath Season is good, in that it means hot – HOT! – baths, which is also bad, because it means that that hot bath should have been lotion instead of water.

The return to Hot Bath Season means a return to many many blankets on the bed, which is good, because snuggle in and sleep like a log. And also because –


I get to play.

The eaves are very deep on this house; it’s only in these really short days that I get direct sunlight coming in for more than a little while in the morning. And in some ways, that’s a bad thing. My violets are suffering – well, and there’s that thing where I forget to water them because they’re in my bedroom and mostly out of sight when I’m thinking about that sort of thing.


Bright, slanting light. And Katniss, who jumped down shortly after this to be petted. Remember Piglet, from Charlie Brown? Yeah, that cloud of dust and debris. I so want to vacuum this cat.

I got done with this bit of happiness (She almost climbed on my lap! I actually heard her purr for a half-second!) and went to pick up my cup of coffee, that I had set down 45 minutes ago.


See those slanting lines? A spiderweb. In my coffee cup. I guess this means I should never put it down.